Who's got your back?

Who's got your back?


Last week I was asked a pretty personal question by someone whom I know but not well. It was to do with the way I walk. The question came out of the blue and was asked in a sincere and kind way. Inquisitive would best describe the person's persona. When I was asked it, I was standing with three very close girlfriends. For a moment or two, I thought they were about to pounce on him. They looked at me and then back to him, waiting to interject at the drop of a hat. No words were spoken after the comment yet I felt that the support. Their presence was enough to say: ‘we got this and we'll answer if you don't want to'.

The situation got me thinking about the power of female friendships and knowing that your closest mates have your back, in any situation and at any time. With real friends, you don't have to wonder if when leaving the group, that morning coffee, that party, you'll be the next target of gossip. Your real friends are the ones whom you can rely on to tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The ones you call the next morning after a night out for a ‘debrief' and the ‘are you sure I didn't say something stupid' confirmation.

I've relied on my close friends for years. I've probably harassed them with stupid questions more than I care to remember, called them for mundane things, for affirmation, for a vent, a cry, a laugh. For nothing in particular, just because I may not have spoken to them in a while and realise that any friendship worth its salt involves effort from both sides. Sometimes for those friends who live afar if catching up means driving for 2 hours there and back to have lunch with them, then I'll do it.

I was at a lunch with some school friends the other day, and we bumped into another lot of girls whom we knew- school friends like us but about 5 years younger. They had suffered the loss of one of their closest friends in tragic circumstances and so, as one of them told, me: ‘we have decided to stop with excuses and make time for each other. It was a wake-up call for all of us. We need to spend more time with our friends and celebrate the good times'. Indeed we do.

Friendship often takes a back seat to children, to relationships, to work, to family commitments and so forth. And that's ok. But here's the thing. At the end of the day, it's nice to know that someone's got your back.



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