Strange places Australia’s wealthiest mums have been getting-it-on

By ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTOR

I don’t think I’ve ever felt like more of a prude. Or maybe I have. The last time I felt this way, was about 15 years ago when I was standing, mid-sentence at a party and quickly looked around to see a vacated room. It was a Saturday morning, and the occasion was drinks before the races at friend’s trendy inner city terrace house in Sydney. All very cool for the merchant bankers who were in attendance. I clearly was the odd man out, or should I say, woman. Invited because I was an ‘old’ friend of the host and one who clearly didn’t quite understand that the ‘pre-race’ drinks meant more than just drinks. I came to that realisation rather quickly counting my luck that no-one else was bothering to top up their glasses with the free champagne that was on offer when the party subsequently returned down the stairs, wiping noses and sniffing. Coke on the floor of the bathroom was the go that particular morning I was too later learn for everyone but me. I wasn’t even invited to partake. The host knew my conservative ways and me far too well.

I hadn’t felt like that until yesterday afternoon when I sat down to read about what some of the wealthy Sydney mums who reside on the lower North Shore have been up to.

According to the article I was reading at lightning pace (because really, their lives sounded far more ‘out there’ than mine) these wealthy women are, for the sole purpose of livening up their sex lives ‘doing the horizontal or in some cases vertical’ in a whole lot of ways I would never have imagined.

A recent detailed survey revealed that graveyards, car bonnets, public schools and golf courses are just some of the strange places Australia’s wealthiest mums have been getting-it-on in a quest to spice up their love lives.

The super-rich parents also admitted to taking part in orgies with old women, having threesomes, masturbating in the bathroom at work, having affairs and fantasising about ex-partners during sex.

Right. Ok. Sounds normal? Maybe it is. Hell, I was the one left alone at the party while everyone else was snorting coke so who am I to judge or even reconcile what ‘normal’ is these days. Maybe it is a common practice? A graveyard sounds enticing, doesn’t it? You, your partner and a thousand or so dead people to spice up the atmosphere…and as for the golf course, I’m wondering if that was during opening hours or not. Nothing like a couple having sex near the 18th hole to put you a little off your game. As for the threesomes and the orgies with oldies…call me crazy, but for some reason, I’m not feeling it.

All jokes aside, by the end of the article I actually felt incredibly sorry and a little sad for these privileged women. That is of course if the article and the survey are in fact accurate. I actually thought for a moment or two, that these women were having the last laugh. Who can make up the most bizarre stories for a bit of tabloid fodder may have been their game? Lets’ hope so. Otherwise, if the bathroom cubicle at work is locked a little longer than it should be, you may know why.

Read the full article here at news.com.au