Sadly not all pregnancies progress to a happy ending. A quarter of pregnancies will miscarry in the first trimester, some pregnancies will not proceed past the second or third trimester, and some babies will sadly pass away at birth, shortly before birth or soon thereafter.
Not only do the expectant parents have to cope with grief but also the loss of the dreams that were carried in the womb. Dreams of seeing their baby in the nursery they prepared so lovingly will remain just that, dreams.
Grief, like depression, is something that is difficult to describe or understand unless you have been in the same situation. There is no manual for grief and no right way to grieve. Words that are said by well-meaning family or friends may be meaningless and at times hurtful.
Some of you may need the help of a doctor or a counsellor. Some of you may find solace in support groups. Grief may become
Grief can result in strained personal relationships as you and your partner may grieve in different ways. It is important to understand that you are both going
Who to turn to for help?
Your partner, family and friends will try to support you as best as they can, however, you may find that they may not know what to say or do in the face of your grief. A friend of mine told me once that she appreciated my sending her a birthday card for her baby who passed away a year earlier, and that I was one of the only two people who did.
She felt that through my card someone else was remembering and grieving with her for her baby. Consider letting family and friends know what you need from them so they can provide you with the right support.
If you have a caring GP or a counsellor, go to see them, they are there to help you.
Some of you may find support groups helpful. For example:
Sometimes grief can be so intense that you may start relying on recreational drugs or alcohol or even feel suicidal, if so, please seek professional help as soon as possible.
Some hospitals provide a special service through which a midwife is employed to help and support pregnant women who have suffered
A good doctor will recognise and provide you with added support if you have suffered from loss, grief, or challenges before. So please share with them what you have been through.
This post is an excerpt from Dr Maria Boulton’s book “Mum’s guide on pregnancy”.
Dr Maria Renee Boulton, GP, wife and mother of 2, has enjoyed working in general practice for 12 years.
Dr Maria has always enjoyed working with mothers, babies and children, all the more so since starting her own family. Dr Maria works in general practice at Family Doctors Plus in Windsor, Brisbane, Australia.
She has recently published her first book “Mum’s Guide to Pregnancy”- a